What do you say, what do you do when it all comes down... [entries|friends|calendar] get_me_off [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

Its just time say fuck, and let it all go!!! [12 Jul 2005|01:14am] I've been trying since i can remember to figure thigns out. Shit still isn't making sense... people always say "oh its a teenager thing, everyone gets emotionl and confused,,but i cant fucking take it anymore. Im sick of fighting to hard for something, anything, knowing i cant have it, i do things that i know are going to hurt me, shit things that could kill me, but i do them anyways. I dont even care anymore. Im sick of people saying they'll always be here, but they truly had no intension of doing so. So fuck all of you who broke your promises.. I dont see how anyone could do or say such hurtful things to a person and have no sympothy.. Your all cold hearted. There are so many people in this world that i wish i could hury physically abnd emotionally....I also hate how people feel they feel how you feel when they dont even know what your feeling... your all fake,!! I hate fake people. They disgust me. ....I know i may sound crazy but owell.. LoL.. The worst parf is people say you hate in others what you hate in yourself.. Its that true? Shit anything is possible.. On a better note!!! We sold our house saturday!!! We move out in the begining of August. My mom found a house she likes on Dobson between chandler and pecos.. Im so happy i get to move back!! So ive said this beofre, but hopefully it will work this time!! This above is not to everyone.. There are few people i am directing this towards, and the ones who it is to will probably never even read this, so no one take things personal!! Im gonna dye my hiar.!!! 2 cried tears of pain... - "Do you know how much i hate you? "

... I love you!!! [07 Jul 2005|01:21am] So me and Alex have been talking and it makes me think.. Good o;d days (or bad ones).....I need to get my shit together, but i need to figure out what i want first... I miss so many people. I wish i could go back to the six grade, before ronald, before the pills, before the all the shit, the pressure, the babies and homies, everything. ... I dont know and fix it. make things better.... like when you think "if this would/wouldn't have done something this would/wouldn't have happened".. ya know..   think about life.. good times:                 <3 6 cried tears of pain... - "Do you know how much i hate you? "

Your in the arms of the angels. [23 Jun 2005|01:13am] its been along time.. Things havn't gotten better.... Its hard to explain how certain things effect you so much, and can bring back so many memories.. it hurts..I've come to a point in life where i know nothing, and i want to know why things happen and it kills me to not be able to.. i hate that in every painful situation i run to something to help it, but in the end it just covers the pain, it doesn't make it go away.. I cant close my eyes without my brain becoming a slide show of things i cant handle to see or remember.. But through all this something happened that made me realize i have to keep on going.. Its going to get better,,,,It has too.. I will remember you Will you remember me? Don’t let your life pass you by Weep not for the memories Remember the good times that we had? I let them slip away from us when things got bad How clearly I first saw you smilin’ in the sun Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one I will remember you Will you remember me? Don’t let your life pass you by Weep not for the memories I’m so tired but I can’t sleep Standin’ on the edge of something much too deep It’s funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word We are screaming inside, but we can’t be heard But I will remember you Will you remember me? Don’t let your life pass you by Weep not for the memories I’m so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose Clinging to a past that doesn’t let me choose Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light And I will remember you Will you remember me? Don’t let your life pass you by Weep not for the memories R.I.P Gary R. McClinton Jr. A.K.A Lil gary 1 cried tears of pain... - "Do you know how much i hate you? "

Let me slip away [07 May 2005|01:00am] This is sad. its friday, i got up early, worked all night. drank 3 beers, and i feel like shit. What happened.. hahah.. HAPPY BIRTHDY SISSY!!!!!!!! me and my sister are going to payson, then were taking my mom to get a tattoo.I feel weird. I havnt written in a while..Every thing is changing, Im starting to do alot better in school, I got into a fight with my teacher today..I have a anger problem. I gotmy hair on fire, not once, but twice today.. My tummy hurts...I miss my old friends...callmy bitches. Thingsareweirdbetweenus.doyouseeit?yoursuchatease,bastard IM IN love with all of you time ti sleep <3Stephanie 1 cried tears of pain... - "Do you know how much i hate you? "

[30 Apr 2005|11:04pm] Wow!! Its been a while. Theres been several times ive got to the update page, and didnt have anything to say! im a loser.. hahah.. Schools almost out, im excited.. WHATEVER -99 "Do you know how much i hate you? "

[08 Apr 2005|12:54am] Wow its been a while..... BAILIE!!! Whens basha's prom... Im going to desert ridges prom with brittany. haha. I hate school i owe a lot of hours.. im tired peace 2 cried tears of pain... - "Do you know how much i hate you? "

I broke a promise to you im sorry, i love you. [11 Mar 2005|09:11am] [ mood | awake ] [ music | stevens headphones ] well im at school... i got here at 7:09!! AHHHHH!!! im tired. imleaving here at 9:50 to go to work, and wont be off till like 9:30-10 o'clock! tear.. then saturday i work another double.. SUNDAY!!!(is what im waiting for)) Im so excited to have a vacation.i saw bailie and jess yesterday... we need to hang out soon bitches!!! dooop dee doo... im bored.. im off... PEACE BITCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 2 cried tears of pain... - "Do you know how much i hate you? "

ass like that [09 Mar 2005|01:02pm] [ mood | aggravated ] I leave for mexico in approximatley 4 1/2 days!!! Im excited. butim really scared im gonna get kidnapped and shot.. Im serious.. Their like urging americans not to go to rocky point!! Also im extra excited michael gets to go with me!! <333 except were sharing a house with 12 people.. hahahha j/k.. Im in a bad mood today! ive been here ( @ school) since 8:30.. Blah. I have to make up 7 hours before friday.. dont think its gonna happen. Owell. Bailie are we still going to prom together.?? I WANT TO HAVE FUN OVER BREAK!!! so you bitches better call me, and make an appointment, cause you know i have so many friends that want to hang out with me.. Hahahah that kinda brings me down. anywhoo...................... IM FUCKING HUNGRY AND I WANT TO TAKE A 20 MINTUTE BREAK GOD DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you all, and Michael! <3- Sparky 2 cried tears of pain... - "Do you know how much i hate you? "

[02 Mar 2005|12:23pm] okay so im going to mexico on the 13th!!! Im excited except for my car broke so i have to fix it and i might not have $$ to go to mexico. Everyone thinks im gonna get arrested or die or get kid napped or something. Its lame.. I need s ome fun in my life. Monday me and michael went to dinner at paul lee's. it was pretty good. our waitress was a tweeker though.. hahahahah.... Thaats allwe ended up doing. that was the first time we had gone out in 3 months. isnt that sad.. Hes weird.. i love him though. shitty i miss my friends.... tear :0) PS- Bailie i saw Paul that used to live down the street from you... hahahhahahah 1 cried tears of pain... - "Do you know how much i hate you? "

I wanted you to know i love you way you laugh, i want to steal your pain away [27 Feb 2005|11:14pm] well its been a while. Again~~ Work, like always... Life at this particular moment is pretty shitty.. I hate people. Im starting to hate my job. The only things that i love hate me. Its a vicious cycle. what ever i lost my train of thought.. fuck it, it will all be over son enough. im sorry i cant be perfect 3 cried tears of pain... - "Do you know how much i hate you? "

[07 Feb 2005|10:26pm] Are you ugly? A liar like me? A user, a lost soul? Someone you don't know? Money, it's no cure A sickness so pure Are you like me? Are you ugly? We are dirt We are alone You know we're far from ?sober? We are fake We are afraid You know it's far from over We are dirt We are alone You know we're far from ?sober? Look closer Are you like me? Are you ugly? Turn my blind eye Why do I deny? Medicate me So I die happy A strain of cancer Chokes the answers Are you like me? A liar like me? I don't care You don't care I do know You're angry You don't care I don't care Who are you? Just like me? Am I you? You are me I do know You're angry You don't care I don't care Who are you? Like me?          Well im super tired right now.. This is sad i used to write everyday now i write about once  a month.. I work to much, I like my new school,  but i miss some people from basha too.. I will never go back.. I have new friends... Me and michael are doing pretty  good.. Life has been weird latley.. I dont know why.. Had to kive mommy 425 dollars today, it sucked. Im broke.. It sucks haveing to pay for your own shit.. O well.. Well thats all   Buh BYeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee......@8479816 3 cried tears of pain... - "Do you know how much i hate you? "

[10 Jan 2005|07:58pm] well its been a while. Ive been pretty busy i work alot.... School is supossed to start tomorrow but i dont think im going.. I have an orientation thingy at San Tan at 2:30..  Im not going back to basha.. Fuck it.. There really isnt even a reason for me to... I am gona miss some people.. But its for the better.. LaLa... Ive been thinking latley.. I miss alot of my old friends.. Camille and old friends.. Chris, Justin... I miss bailie too.. And Brittney.. O-well ... Peopl mve on and change fuck it no point thinking about the past but yet i still do.. interesting...  Well im gonna go     Check ya later!! ya thats the crip side.. i specialize in making at the girls get naked'! 3 cried tears of pain... - "Do you know how much i hate you? "

[06 Dec 2004|09:05pm] WOW!!! i havnt wrote in forever. Ive been so busy with work and schizool... ((I hate school))... Ive realized how fake people are, and that i have harldy and TRUE friends.. Honestly though: People are so completly imature it makes me laugh.. So im almost postive im switching schools after the semester. Thank god. I mean i Love my friends that i actually do have at basha but ya... I dont knwow ehere im going.. But i gotta go decorate the x-mas tree.. <33 The holidays are here. I hope its a happy year... I love michael! Stephanie!! 2 cried tears of pain... - "Do you know how much i hate you? "

[21 Nov 2004|06:17pm] well lifes been good!! Me and Michael havnt fought at all this weekend. you have no idea how good that makes me feel. So i finished my training, they said i do a great job. he took me off of training early and let me "host" which nothing is different cause i get tips now. I feel a little better latly!! I hope it last And im off... <3 Stephanie "Do you know how much i hate you? "

[14 Nov 2004|06:13pm] well this weekend was pretty much boring. I love Michael.. I GOT A JOB AT UNCLE BEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! woo hooo!!! I feel it fading Im off again I Love you! "Do you know how much i hate you? "

fuck you@! [13 Nov 2004|03:38pm] [ mood | crappy ] [ music | zmfg hjksagdfhjsa gdfhjsf ] well this continues to be the worst wekk of my life.. So ive failed my drivers test twice... really how does someone do that.. The first time i went i thought i was gonna be doing a 3 point turn then i had to paralell park and ive never done that in my life, and today i did the 3 point turn and i was perfect but the lady kept looking at me, i thought she wanted me to back up more, so i did and thunk i hit the baracade shit.. I was so beyond pissed, it makes me pissed just thinking about it!!!!!!!!!   rarara the only good things that have happened are i have a second interview at Uncle Bears, and i dyed my hair!!!   other than that i want to jump off a cliff!! Honestly though!!!!!!!!! 3 cried tears of pain... - "Do you know how much i hate you? "

[10 Nov 2004|12:03pm] [ mood | amused ] HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for the card(s) & Balloons my school friends!! Im in love with you alL!!! Let today be better please,, i need it!!! <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 P.s- Wish me luck tomorrow for my job interveiw!! 4 cried tears of pain... - "Do you know how much i hate you? "

[09 Nov 2004|02:50pm] [ mood | much better... ] [ music | they wont l,et me go the wrong way! ] well today has been okay! ive had three amps.. WOOO HOO!!! Last night was a releif! Me and Michael worked some shit out. Thank god. Im gonna call the MVD today and see if i can get my license tomorrow since its closed on thursday!!!!! I also got a call from Uncle bears for an interveiew on thursday! woo hoo! Im excited cause i dont think i passed my test for the other job, but who knows!! hmm Well im gonna go shopping today!! Im in love wiht you ((((michael))))) <33 Stephizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzle!! "Do you know how much i hate you? "

[08 Nov 2004|09:28pm] [ mood | rejected ] Did you really think that it was over when you hung up the phone and said goodnight? And did you ever think that it would be too much? I can't leave without saying goodbye. So did you really think that you could take it? Could you make it alone tonight? I never could have hoped for anything more. Be my angel if you can, alright. You always say goodnight, and you always say goodnight. So baby did you sleep an hour for me? How I wish I was there right now. I wasn't going to tell you I could change things. I'm afraid I never will know how. But I don't really think that I can take it. Will I make it alone somehow? So hold me in your arms before I leave you. I'll be back as soon as time allows. You always say goodnight, and you always say goodnight. Goodnight. REAL LIFE NOW Well today school sucked, wow thats a shocker. Went home. Did some homework( also a shocker cuase im a dumb piece of shit who doesnt know anything) then the padres took me to michaels.. Of course i put him in a bad mood cause im so great at that. He actually admitted that im annoying him today. ++ for the self esteem mood!! I hate being such a stupid girl."Wahh stop looking at other girls, wah im a jealous bitch!!" I hate it! after we went to radio shack things were okay till i left. i walked out and he opened the door and said fine bye, and slammed the door.. Ouch!! There i go again pissing people off!! My birthday is wed. I dont know what i want to do. My parents said i could have a party, but whos gonna want to come? My friend (s) probably will if they can, what us that 2 people. and no one else will come cause "they cant drink" what ever!! Life really honestly sucks right now! seriously... Im sorry for being that dramatic emo girl who has to spit there life on the fucking internet, but i dont have anyone else to talk to. Sorry!! "Do you know how much i hate you? "

[01 Nov 2004|08:48pm] !!!! well today seems to be pretty good, but for some reason i feel all blah!! My birthday is in 9days!!! Woop Woop!! Im so excited. I have a job interveiw on wed. and tomorow after school im going to go look at this car.. I like it, its cute..not anything special, but hey im buying it with my own money!! :0) School is so gay.. i dont know how to read this story shit, and now im so behing in englush!! ahahahahahahahahhhhhhhhhh Im done... i'll be right beside you dear! 4 cried tears of pain... - "Do you know how much i hate you? "

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